Modern Dating & Emotional Laziness

There are so many different ways of dating nowadays that it kind of makes your head spin. You can do it the “old-fashioned” way, where you meet or are introduced, you go on a few dates, and then you decide you want to be in a relationship. There’s another that people seem to be very into, which is hook-up dating, when you hook up with one person exclusively. I guess I understand this, if you’re not looking for anything serious.

The one that I don’t understand is when it’s this weird, in-between both of those kinds of dating, where you don’t know whether you’re actually in a relationship with that person, or you’re just “having fun”. This bugs me for a few different reasons, but the biggest issue I have with this is what I believe to be the cause: emotional laziness.

We have become SO lazy. Not just with our binge-watching, responsibility-avoiding attitudes (guilty), but with dating, as well. 

We’ve gotten stuck in this rut of, “We have a good thing going, but I’m not willing to put in the time or effort to actually date you… But I still want the benefits of being in a relationship with you without working for it.”

 … I’m sorry, what?

Since when did we just stop doing relationships? Are you afraid to call it what it is- hooking up- because you’ve invested enough feelings to sort of care about the other person, but have kept yourself guarded enough to not want to call them your S/O? Are we so afraid of actually committing to someone that we just go through life not knowing if we’re dating someone or not?

Personally, I’m so tired of this. Casual dating is one thing, but if you want me to invest time in you, you had better be prepared to invest time in me, as well. Emotional laziness will no longer be tolerated in my dating life, and I hope anyone reading this knows that they deserve better, too.

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3 Comments

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  1. Fantastic article! I feel the same way on most of these points, especially on how some people seem afraid to commit. I also feel as though some people are more afraid of being looked at as selfish and immature by calling it hooking up.

    And of course to add a pun here,
    By “hooking” up, couldn’t we call them a lil shellfish?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha oh my gosh, I am dying laughing (I’m such a sucker for puns)! I agree with you 100% that people are afraid to call it hooking up, and I also believe it’s because they think they’ll look “shellfish”. Thanks for reading! 🙂

      Like

  2. Finally someone got the balls (insert pun here) to call it what it is!!! Sry I tried🙈.
    I completely agree with your view point Sarah, people just want the easy way out nowadays. Oh, how the times have changed. You and Walton bring up excellent points, in which people are selfish, immature or perhaps afraid to stand up for what they want and call it what it is. Vulnerability is a feeling not welcome by much and therefore everyone tries to avoid it, but isn’t that the greatest apart about being in a relationship? Getting out of your comfort zone. Perhaps not for all. My theory, technology has taken over, and the years of relationships and committing to just the “effort” in a relationship are slowly diminishing. It’s so weird to me that human connection/interaction, that “thing” that makes us…”us” is being lost to Instagram or snapchat or what have you. Nowadays, swiping left on your mobile device signifies being on a date, seriously? Come on. Let’s get back to the way things were, and perhaps a relationship can last longer then a week. Great read Sarah , look forward for more your thoughts and philosophy.

    Like

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